


Written Words

by DBsilverdragon



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 18:32:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4148424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DBsilverdragon/pseuds/DBsilverdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Korra is off the the Fire Nation, leaving Asami alone at home. Korra has left something for Asami.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Written Words

“Why did she even want a desk?” Asami sighed as she walked into Korra’s office. “She’s hardly ever uses it.” She smiled remembering when Korra asked if she could turn one of the rooms into an office _“Just to keep paperwork” she had said_. Asami could not deny the woman of her dreams anything.

Korra was off to the Fire Nation to discuss something and Asami was alone in the mansion. Korra’s office helped Asami feel closer to the woman she loved when Korra was away. There were times that Korra had found Asami asleep on the couch in the office just as Asami would often find Korra asleep in her office. The décor of the office reminded Asami of the Avatar’s home in the South, simple, unadorned yet cozy. A tattered journal lay upon the desk as Asami sat in Korra’s chair. A note was attached.

_“A – For you. Love, K.”_ The note was written in tight small letters that made up Korra’s handwriting. Asami furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she opened the ragged leather cover. The handwriting inside was Korra’s – tight and somewhat precise. Asami ran her fingers down the rough parchment. There were no dates, just dashes to separate the entries.

“Why would she leave this for me?” Asami asked herself to the empty room. Almost every page – front and back – was full. Asami chewed on her bottom lip. There had to be a reason. She scanned a few pages.

_“The weather started growing warmer and I felt joy at seeing my friends again. Especially Asami. By the spirits, I miss her the most. She was the real reason I felt home once again. I realized that fact under the stars when I was alone. Don’t get me wrong, I like being alone, I just don’t want to be lonely.”_

Asami continued to chew on her bottom lip. Korra was letting her into what happened the six months she was missing. Asami never questioned Korra as she figured the Avatar would tell her in time and Asami had all the time in the world for Korra.

_“The lights of Republic City danced on the water as I sailed into Yue Bay. I felt my heart race with excitement. I was back where I belonged – or at least where I thought I belonged. Fear killed the excitement, everyone expected me to be the Avatar, but only Asami knew the truth and I’m afraid if others found out that – well, I don’t want to know what they would think. I just don’t want Asami to think any different. Maybe I need more time on my own. I just hope they understand. I just hope Asami understands.”_

“Oh Korra.” Asami whispered. Her mind replayed memories of her sitting in Avatar Korra Park, staring at the statue she had commissioned to be the centerpiece of the park. It was on those days that she admitted to herself how deep her love went for Korra – not the Avatar – just Korra.

_“I can’t be the Avatar anymore. I couldn’t even stop two street thugs in a little fishing village. The memories of Zaheer’s attack flashed through my mind. Maybe, it is time to let the title go – at least for now. I sent a letter to my parents letting them know that I was safe in Republic City. I feel guilty, but I didn’t want them to worry. In the silence of the night, I let myself be lulled by the face of Asami. That picture I have of her in my mind helps keep darker thoughts away or at least at bay until the sun rises.”_

Asami looked up from the words Korra had written. Night had fallen, the moon full in the night sky. She knew that Korra was looking up at the same moon and Asami smiled. She closed the journal as she stood, stretching the kinks out of her back. She looked down at the journal once again, tempted to leave it. But Korra wanted her to read it. She grabbed the journal and headed towards their bedroom.

_“I wonder what Asami would say or how she would react if I told her that I loved her? Knowing Asami, there would be questions or at least she would hear me out. I know we didn’t start off on the right off. Spirits, I was a royal jerk to her and yet she stayed – becoming one of my closest friends, but it never felt like family. There was something stronger with her. Really hard to put into words – but she felt like she was my other half. I felt complete whenever she was around. Spirits that sounded cheesy.”_

Asami giggled at the last sentence. She remembered the day that Korra told her that she loved her. Asami cried and Korra panicked. Asami had to reassure Korra that they were tears of happiness and relief because she felt the same way. Asami remembered that Korra kissed away the tears.

_“I’m tired of fighting. Maybe getting lost, never to find my way back would be the best. Let people move on with their lives. I’m sure I would be mourned, but life and the Avatar Cycle goes on. My only regret would be Asami – she would be furious with me. Maybe she’s the reason I am still around. I have the dagger – one well-placed plunge and it would be done, but I’m not brave enough. Writing those words – any of these words – tells me that I can’t end everything and I sound like a fool, but in a strange sense I feel better, not strong enough to face anyone, but better.”_

Tears blurred Asami’s sight, she hastily wiped them away. She noticed tear stains – dried tearstains – marred Korra’s handwriting. She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it back. Did Korra still have those thoughts? She felt a lump in her throat – sadness that Korra had to go through that alone and pride for the strength Korra showed.

_“The Avatar is no more. My familiar armband in an unknown river to be used as nesting material or taken out to sea. The dagger that was to have ended my life, now only used to cut my hair – the wolf tails and pony tail floating on the wind. I do not feel banished. I feel reborn, only now I have to find my place in the world. If only the Dark Avatar would stop following, taunting me – I could find peace. Even the love and longing I feel for Asami cannot fight back the creature. It is time to settle this.”_

Asami swallowed hard. The new hair style gave Korra a wild look that Asami quickly fell in love with, but now Korra had grown her hair out, not to the same length as when they first met, but it brushed her shoulders. Asami smiled knowing that her favorite pastime was running her fingers through Korra’s hair – it relaxed Asami as well as Korra. She flipped a few more pages.

_“The Dark Avatar led me to an underground arena. Taunting me. Wanting me to fight. No one gave me a second look. She stood in the middle of the arena, unmoving. My anger rose and I had to get into that ring. I was doing well for a while. Earth bending let me tap into the earth’s strength and I would have won, but she showed up and my game, timing, just about everything was off – one-step behind. I lost, but at least I made a good show. Kind of wished that I would have taken a hit wrong and death would have been instant – no one would know and maybe I could have finally found peace.”_

“Oh, Korra.” Asami whispered to the empty room, reaching for Korra’s pillow and hugging it close. The scent of snow and wood smoke – Korra’s scent still lingered on the pillow. She didn’t have the heart to read anymore as she shut off the light, putting the journal on the nightstand.

***

Asami was up with the sunrise, Korra’s pillow still clutched tight in her arms. If all had gone according to plan, Korra would be home tonight – each of them safe in one another’s arms. As she rolled over, the journal still waited for her on the nightstand. Her eyes narrowed towards the pages – they were different, some appeared newer than the one’s she had read. Asami pulled herself out of bed, grabbed her robe, and the journal. She needed coffee.

The morning sun rose higher as she took her coffee and the journal outside. The weather was cool, but not cold – typical late spring day in Republic City. A small gazebo was her destination – somehow reading the journal, Asami wanted to be closer to Korra and the gazebo was one of the spots that Korra would like to nap. She thumbed through towards the new pages. _“I’ll read it all one day, but not today.”_ She still felt like she was intruding on her girlfriend’s private life despite the fact that Korra had given her the freedom to read her private thoughts.

_“Toph is one cranky old lady, just like Lin. But underneath the rough exterior, there is a caring person. We all show love and respect differently. Hers just happens to involve slinging swamp mud at me. Suyin didn’t get all the mercury poison out and when Toph tried, the pain was too intense – my body refusing to let it go. That’s why the old me still follows – I’m lost in the past of what happened of things I cannot change. The only thing that remains a constant is Asami. I lay awake at night and wonder what she is doing. I have dreams of being in her arms, making love to her, of being scared that it will show that I have no experience.”_

Asami swallowed the last dregs of her now cold coffee, her face screwing up at the bitterness. “You think I would have learned that lesson long ago.” She muttered to herself.

“Do you wish a refill, Ms. Sato?” A familiar voice – Ren – asked from behind her.

“Good morning. No, thank you. Is everything prepared for tonight?”

“Yes. And thank you again for the extra time off. Are you sure we will not be needed?”

“I am quite sure. Have fun, everyone deserved it.”

Ren bowed and left Asami alone once again; and once again, Asami was left to her own devices. She knew that she should be getting ready for the day, but Korra’s journal pulled at her.

_“Spirits I was corny. Snazzy as always. Geez, I wanted to say more, tell her everything, but when her arms wrapped around me, my brain shut down. I wanted her for myself, but Mako was there and Prince Wu (I still shutter when I hear his name). Nothing went according to what my mind envisioned. Asami made me blush. By the Spirits, could it have been more apparent? I could see the look in Asami’s green eyes, they darkened a shade. Did she feel for me the way I felt for her?”_

Asami chuckled to herself, remembering that day well. She loved the fact that she was able to make the Avatar blush, but Korra did look good with short hair. _“Hell, she just looked good.”_ Asami noticed that there were several blank pages and torn out pages before Korra once again put pen to paper. She ran her fingers down the empty sheets. She could feel indentations on the paper. She held up one of the pages towards the sun, a faint outline appeared – several in fact – of Korra’s water tribe symbol and the Future Industries symbol. Asami pulled her bottom lip in with her teeth in thought, willing herself not to cry. Another page held one design in the center. It almost looked like her family’s crest, but Korra had modified it – longer and more narrow. Near the top were the four elements combined with a gear overlapping and finally stylized waves. Asami went from pulling on her biting lip to chewing the inside of her mouth. “I really have to stop that habit.” She said aloud. She read three faint words near the crest, _“This is it.”_ She continued reading.

_“Asami, I know you have read this. If I have caused any tears, I am sorry. I wanted – no needed – you to know everything. I had to; I do not want any secrets between us. I have told you that I love you and I mean it, but somehow it never felt like it was and never will be enough. I wanted to see if you would still love me even with my flaws and scars.”_

“Korra.” Asami whispered.

_“After Zaheer, I lost faith in myself for a long time. I often wondered what it would have been like if I had let you join me in the South. Maybe I could have found my way home sooner. Asami, I give you my heart, my soul, and my body – if you will have me – for the rest of our lives. I love you, Asami Sato.”_

Asami closed the journal, her hand never leaving the cover. She let the tears fall.

***

The mansion was quiet and Asami was alone. Korra had sent word that she had been tied up, but promised to be home before sunrise. Asami smiled when Korra called the mansion home, for it did feel like that once again despite the fact it was just the two of them. A storm was beginning to make its presence known in the west and heading towards Republic City. A flash in the distance caught her eye as she silently counted. She reached twenty before the rumble of thunder rolled through. Asami loved the stormy weather – Korra, not so much, but she was getting used to it.

Asami sat behind her desk wearing one of Korra’s tank tops and little else. The pen in her hand scratched along the page. Satisfied with what she had done, she attached the note to the one place she knew Korra would hit before she came to bed – the refrigerator. She headed up to bed, tired. She let the storm lull her to sleep.

***

Korra slipped her boots off as she stepped into the foyer and quietly locked the door behind her, dropping her keys on the side table. Her stomach rumbled. She left her boots underneath the table and padded silently to the kitchen. She flipped on the light switch, her eyes closing at the sudden brightness. She normally found her way through the kitchen in the dark, but with the thunder still rumbling in the distance, the kitchen light held the bright flashes of lightening at bay. She knew there would be cold noodles in the refrigerator – there are always noodles for her. Korra paused, her hand on the handle.

_“Korra,_

_Two things. 1) Your noodles are in the front, and 2) leave the other stuff alone…”_

Korra laughed and took down the note as she opened the refrigerator. Just as the note said, the noodles were in front. Korra grabbed them and reached for her chopsticks. The note laid in front of her as she tucked into her snack.

_“…I read your journal – well, most of it. Yes, I cried and you should have nothing to apologize for. I knew you would let me in – you know my patience. I just wanted it to be on your terms. Yes Korra, I love you even with your flaws and scars. They are a part of you. Spirits know I have them as well. Having you in my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Korra, I love you and yes.”_

Korra read the last line again and again, her smile growing wider and her noodles forgotten. She pulled a platinum chain from around her neck. The jeweler in Zaofu did wonders with the sketch she brought him. At the end of the thin chain was the crest Korra had designed. She ran her thumb over it; she could almost feel the power within the piece. Korra had decided on platinum because no metal bender could use it against Asami. The rings would also have to be platinum, but Korra knew that Asami could not wear hers most of the time because of the machinery she worked around.

The necklace was Korra’s version of the betrothal choker – she wanted something more modern for Asami. She clutched the necklace tight for a moment, steeling herself to see if Asami would say yes to her.

Korra padded her way upstairs towards their bedroom. Asami had left the door ajar, so Korra would not wake her up. Korra stood in front of the door, her heart pounding when she saw the faint glow of light. She took a deep breath, slowly exhaling through her nose. _“This is it, Korra. Your life, your happiness rests in your engineer’s hands.”_ Korra thought, clutching the necklace tighter in her hand despite the words she had read.

“I know you are out there, Korra.” Asami’s muffled voice came from behind the door.

Korra only smiled as she entered their room. “Thought you were asleep.”

“I was.”

“Sorry for the delay.” Korra ducked her head. She heard Asami move.

“Did you get my note?” Asami’s voice dropped to a whisper. Korra could hear the hesitant tone in her voice.

“Yeah.” Korra answered as she watched Asami’s feet step into her view. She felt and saw Asami’s fingers hook under her chin, gently raising her eyes to look at Asami’s green eyes. “Do you mean it?” Korra searched Asami’s eyes for any hesitation – she found none.

“Mean what?” A small smile ticked at the corner of Asami’s lips.

Korra swallowed – hard. The engineer wanted to hear the words from the Avatar. Korra’s throat went dry. There was a spark in Asami’s eyes that gave Korra hope.

“You’re not going to want me to get down on one knee are you?” Korra gave Asami a lop-sided grin.

“Nah.”

Korra let out a breath she had not realized that she had been holding. She let the chain drop as she held it hooked over one of her fingers. The lamp glow gave the pendant its own inner light. Asami’s eyes grew wide and Korra smiled. “Asami Sato of Republic City, would you do me the honor of being my wife. Flaws, scars, and all?” Korra brought up the pendant higher. Asami gasped, her imagination was nothing that compared to the striking beauty of the necklace that Korra held before her. “I know it is not a betrothal choker, but I wanted something different and something special.”

Asami felt tears well in her eyes as Korra stepped closer to slip the chain over her head. Asami moved her hair to let the chain touch her neck. The pendant was warm and rested just below the hallow of her throat. “Korra of the Southern Water Tribe, yes. Flaws, scars, and all.”

Korra picked Asami up around her waist, spinning them both around, and kissing Asami in the middle of their bedroom. “She said yes. You said yes.”

Asami laughed.


End file.
